Whenever people in Tashkent asked about our travel plans, they insisted we go to Samarkand, one of the most important cities along the Silk Road (and we did). Then they’d get a faraway look in their eyes and say, “But go to Bukhara, and you will experience a magical part of our country.” Bukhara was also on our list, so we couldn’t wait. We took an hour-and-a-half train journey from Samarkand in first class. It was a new train with big windows, comfortable seats, and attentive service, all for just $20. for the two of us. I love train travel best of all!
We had an Airbnb booked very close to the center of the oldest part of the city. It looked a little unusual from the pictures, but the reviews of the host (and his mom) were so captivating that we just had to stay with them. Full homemade breakfast delivered every morning? What’s not to love?
We thought our host Azamat, would meet us at the train station, but his cousin picked us up instead. He was apologetic that Azamat couldn’t be there, but he would be waiting for us at our Airbnb. “Oh, and it’s his wedding day!” His wedding day? I guess that’s an excuse to be over-scheduled if ever there was one.
Just as our driver said, Azamat was at the door to greet us with tea and cake. As you know from previous blogs about our time in Uzbekistan, hospitality is a profoundly ingrained core value for Uzbeks. Azamat acted like he had all the time in the world to spend with us - but we could tell he was also a little flustered, so we sent him on his way.
But not before he insisted we come to the wedding and sit with his family! Really? We said we’d absolutely love to attend. The same cousin would pick us up at 6:00 pm and take us to the wedding venue.
We weren't sure what to wear since our nomad wardrobe doesn’t stretch to wedding attire! Luckily we had the traditional robes we were gifted in Samarkand. But, according to Azamat’s sister, Michael's was too fancy - and he might upstage some guests. However, I could wear my long embroidered vest.
Weddings in Uzbekistan are a momentous occasion and take place over several days. Almost every day of the week, there are celebrations in large and elaborate wedding halls. Hosting three hundred guests is not unusual considering you must invite every family member, friend, co-worker, and apparently Airbnb guest you know. There were many Disneyesque facilities like the above around our hotel in Samarkand. We watched wedding groups load in and out with decor, flowers, and crates of food and beverages all week.
The video below is of a bride-to-be dressed in a stunning outfit . Her pre-wedding party was at a restaurant in Samarkand where we were dining. Of course, I was invited to join in the dancing once they spotted me!
At one point, we spotted a wedding group loading out of the hall next to the hotel. They carried boxes of household goods, elaborately quilted bedding, racks of luxury clothing, shoes, jewelry in glass cases, and even some gold-trimmed furniture into a van. When we asked about it, we were told they were wedding gifts for the bride from a wealthy groom's family and friends. They had been presented the night before at a special ceremony.
Loaded with loot, the bride arrives at her husband's home with everything she needs to set up a house (although she will most likely live with her husband’s family). Elaborate clothing and gold jewelry are also lavished on the bride as her personal dowry.
The average Uzbek is married before reaching the age of 24, which can be as young as 17 for women. Azamat is 32 years old, making him old to be a first-time groom - especially since his bride just turned 22, but he had a busy career and wasn’t quite ready to settle down.
He met his precious bride Parvina six months earlier through relatives, as is often the case. As far as he was concerned, it was “love at first sight!” And she is beautiful. However, they weren’t allowed to spend much time alone before the wedding. Apparently, getting to know each other is part of the 40 days of confinement required for couples after the wedding. They are not to go outside the home unless it is for work and essentials, especially the bride. And they are definitely encouraged to make babies. Of course, the bride should be a virgin, which must be proven in more conservative families before the wedding gifts are released.
The wedding itself was a window into another world. We arrived at the hall and were warmly greeted by Azamat’s mother, Guinora and his family, and the bride’s parents. We sat at a table with eight other guests - where only one of them spoke reasonable English, but we were all happy to be there. Michael especially enjoyed communicating with a young boy of 12 who became his instant WhatsApp pal via GoogleTranslate.
The table was jammed to the edge with food. There was cheese, smoked fish, cold chunks of mysterious meat, nuts, fruit, chocolates, tiny cakes, several liters of room-temperature Coke, Fanta, fruit juice, and water. Alcohol was not offered, but sometime later a bottle of wine was surreptitiously delivered to a man at our table. So we sipped at our small glasses whenever the stern mamas next to us weren’t looking.
The hall was decked out with large white roses and butterflies, glowing hearts, and multicolored lights that swooped on the walls from floor to ceiling. A long white carpet ran from the front door to a raised Dias where an elaborate table was set for the newlyweds. But first, they had to arrive - and slowly walk the gauntlet of relatives lining the flower-strewn aisle.
After two full days of rituals, multiple family obligations, and an early morning wedding ceremony, it wasn't surprising that the bride and groom looked exhausted. Azamat was a bit dazed as he escorted Parvina toward their seats. She would stop every four feet, lift her veil straight out from her face, and bow deeply three times. Her poor groom was unsure what to do or where to look while this traditional show of modesty and respect took place.
This video is of Azamat escorting Parvina to the dias. She stopped every few feet to raise her veil and bow.
Eventually, they made it to the stage, where they would sit for the rest of the evening. They would not eat or dance - their role was solemn. However, guests came up to congratulate them and take pictures. And then, after some proclamations by the Emcee, the dancing began! We joined in just enough to be noticed by our hosts and then quietly "danced" our way out the door.
We learned the groom and his friends “kidnapped” the bride at 5:00 am the following day to carry her away from her parent's home. A long-standing tradition that involves the mother “sobbing” and the daughter pleading not to be taken - all in fun.
Azamat lives with his parents just around the corner from their Airbnb, and when we headed out the next day, two cars full of wedding presents were being unloaded in front of their house. The family courtyard was set up for yet another family gathering, and guests and musicians were already arriving. We were pulled inside by our new “family” to continue celebrating - but we were determined to exit before more food was pressed on us. Or more dancing!
We spent one last afternoon with Azamat, his mother, and his new bride. We looked forward to seeing their home and meeting Parvina. We were ushered into their modest living room, where a table groaned under the weight of pastries, cakes, nuts, fruit, and leftovers from the wedding celebrations. So much food!
Azamats mother does not speak English, but as mothers, we could communicate through smiles and gestures, and she often held my hand. Parvina made a brief appearance but didn't say a word and bowed respectfully before presenting a dish she had prepared. She did not sit down with us, so we left without getting to know her.
But today, as I was writing this blog post, I chatted with Azamat on WhatsApp, and he reported they are very happy, and no surprise, they are expecting a baby in August. He is praying for a boy, of course.
What an amazing start to our stay in Bukhara! We were so blessed to meet Azamat and his wonderful, welcoming family and be part of such a special occasion. We hope to stay in touch with them through the years.
I'll share more about the magical city of Bukhara next!
Thanks for following along,
Debbie and Michael Campbell
The Senior Nomads